SOMETHING ABOUT MY PAST & PRASENT

I still remamber the days i had with my Brother & Sister. Always my Aunty's ask me want some sweet my brother & sister was there i always say how about my Kor Kor & Jie Jie..both of them just grap the sweet away & i have none sometimes just that i never feel wanted in my family, Always wondering alone...when my cousin around they always stuck with the older ppl & i left alone when they have a conversition so i never had a real one until i stared going to school & all but people think i talk alot but look at me...do i look like i talk to many people in my life i don't blame anyone but i just want people to understand me...when i was in school people bully me becouse i was really short no body likes me accept some people i dunno what they see in me, always felt alone but there is someone on my shadow it was a boy who i stand up & look up to was Shanmeen Tan..than my brother who actnolage my Exsisten than my sister who alway telling me stuff about how wonderful LOVE can be but than it is diffrent now...when i started in a GOURP off people who take me in as a family although we are same age accept for one Sashi was the guy who show me the out side world. MY father was the one who thought me what is right & wrong as for my Mother she show me that LOVE is diffrent from the real world only a Mother LOVE IS THERE ALWAYS WHEN YOU NEED ONE YEAH Parents MAYBE Pain in the butt but than we have to accept it becouse they gone thourgh a lot more than us, but than i always feel alone going to the movies alone, i din't want Shanmeen to know becouse he has his own suffering my brother he is the best with words to counter me always i can never win againts it maybe Sashi can as for the rest of the mambers of the group thinks i'm a pest sometime but all i really want them to see is that every momment i spent with them i trasure it...as for my family i might not be there but my heart is always there they might say i care about my friends more than my family that is not true i love them just that i always in a mist can never know what is what..... as for my past i always wanted to do something to help people & love them but i can never do that becouse i always feel usless no metter what i try... i always play sports becouse i always love the wind the feeling like your free from your worries...than i came acrosse a girl who give me a free cookies that taste really really nice so i want to be a Pastry Chef becouse one cookies can make you feel really happy than i thought why not if i try to make one & make everyone happy just like that little girl who give me that cookie..well back to my past i dunno why i did everything alone when i was young i though my parents know but they din't so ofcouse i lack of confident as i grow older...so ofcouse i talk nosence i blame everything one my self...when i was standerd 1 - 5 i always disturb girl but than i reach standerd 6 i change becouse of a girl who punch me she though me what is a Gentelman must do so i stared the code of a Gentelman so yeah i study them always read about them nobody think i would but i did so i change but people think i'm a jerk well whant can i say looks are desiving...WELL I WILL CONTINUE AS SOON AS POSIBLE TILL THAN TAKE CARE